Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I faked an abortion last night.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
