Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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