I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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