I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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