So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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