i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
