you win again, gameday.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
