I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
farters have to be the big spoon...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
