are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
