hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
