She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
