I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
