dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
