"it" just moved
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
