and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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