Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
