youre lurking in front of me
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
