am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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