it hurts more in the daytime
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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