I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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