His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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