Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
