The best revenge is premature balding
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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