**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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