I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
