I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The adults are the big ones right?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize