Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You can't just leave with hair like that
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
