I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
