I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
