I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
