You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
