I think scott just propositioned me for sex
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
