he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
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