You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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