Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
