road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Panties = found
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize