I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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