He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
