Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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