Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
3 2 1 whiskey
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize