So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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