there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
