Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
