there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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