you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
