I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
