He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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