No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize