he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
