dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
MIDGETS
????
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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