Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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