it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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