Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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