Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
