Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
