i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
