she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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